Source: ABC Action News (Tampa Bay 28)
Hillsborough County, FL – Florida has gifted us another unforgettable chapter of “Please Stop Doing That,” after deputies say a Florida Man tried to hide $1,000 in the most uncomfortable, unsanitary, and unnecessary place imaginable: his butt.
According to the original ABC Action News report, the man was walking with “the unmistakable gait of someone deeply regretting life choices.” Hillsborough County Sheriff Deputies grew suspicious when the man refused to sit, turn, bend, or even breathe normally.
What began as a simple traffic stop escalated the moment Florida Man became overly protective of his backside. Deputies quickly determined that his suspicious behavior had less to do with personal boundaries and more to do with his makeshift human safe deposit box.
One deputy later said, “I’ve taken money out of wallets, pockets, shoes… but this? This man invented a new kind of banking.”
Why People Actually Hide Money During Arrest
Experts say people panic during arrests and try to hide cash or small items in ridiculous places. Sadly, the human body isn’t a legally recognized form of storage and surprise, it doesn’t work.
A local resident summed up Florida’s reaction: “I really wish I didn’t know that cash could go there.”
Hillsborough County Bail Breakdown
For charges like obstruction or tampering, bail often ranges from $500 to $2,500.
If bail = $500
10% bond = $100
If bail = $2,500
10% bond = $250
No need to store cash internally. Wallets exist.
Need Bail Fast (and Clean)?
Call Bail America Bail Bonds of Polk County
863-533-1443
We’ve seen it all. We don’t judge. And we’re open 24/7.
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